Here’s an example of a conversation I have with people all the time…
Them: Craig I want to go swimming.
Me: Fantastic! Here’s a pool.
Them: But it looks cold.
Me: Yes, it may be and you will know when you get in.
Them: But I don’t have a towel.
Me: So maybe now is a good time to get one?
Them: But that would mean I have to get in my car and go buy one .
Me: Yup or find one around the house.
Them: Oh crap, which color should I choose?
Me: What color would you like?
Them: I just don’t know.
Me: If you did know, what would you choose?
Them: I don’t know.
Me: Do you really want to go swimming?
Them: You’re pressuring me… I don’t know.
Me: I thought I was coaching you to your outcome.
Here’s what I found over the years, if someone really wants to do something, they’ll do it.
Many are just in love with the idea of getting the result and avoiding jumping in the water at all costs.
Sometimes, it’s best to just jump in the water and start moving around. What you’ll find is the water feels good, you’re not going to die and later you’ll be happy you just jumped in the pool of life and did what you wanted.
Now things are not always that cut and dry. I too have had the above conversation with myself (many times).
The above conversation is also not a good demonstration of coaching based on my training. The following example conversation is good coaching.
Them: Craig, I want to go swimming.
As a coach, I know the swimming is a vehicle to get a feeling.
Me: Have you tried before?
Them: I give up and don’t stick to it.
Me: Okay and swimming means? Getting exercise? What does it mean?
Them: It means I will get exercise.
Me: Cool. So getting exercise means ?
Them: It means I will drop ten pounds.
Me: I see so if you drop ten pounds what does that mean?
Them: It means I can fit into the clothes I really like.
Me: And what feeling will that give you?
Them: It will make me feel in control, healthy, light, etc.
Me: I see. How about when others see you ten pounds lighter? Will you like that or ?
Them: I would like it and I am also afraid of people being attracted to me.
Me: I think I know why you have not been swimming.
Them: And now so do I.
Me: So how about we work on this resistance you have about people being attracted to you and skip the swimming for now?
Them: I would love that.
Me: And maybe when we’re done, you’ll start to make better health choices automatically and may not even need to go swimming.